Want a quick, sure-fire way to upset someone?
Don’t include them in a decision that affects them.
This quote speaks to that universal truth.
It's Important: Include others in decisions that affect them.
People want to be consulted in decisions that affect them.
A quick way to destroy trust between people, especially on teams, is to not include or consult them in a decision that affects them.
Excluding them sends messages such as:
“I’m going to do what I want regardless of the impact on you.”
“I don’t care what you think, I’m doing this anyway.”
"Your input is not important, or worse, burdensome."
None of these are trust-building messages and may (will likely?) result in opposition simply because the person was not consulted. This opposition is what the late Senator Moynihan was talking about when he made this quote.
Asking for forgiveness, rather than permission, is not an excuse.
The inverse is also true. A fast way to build trust and camaraderie is to consult with people on decisions that affect them.
Doing so brings them into an “advocacy” type relationship with you. It conveys:
"Your input is valuable to me."
"I care about what you think."
"Your input is worth my time."
"You are part of the team."
After doing so, you stand a better chance of being on the same side even if you don't agree on the content of the decision.
People may assume that because they listen to another’s viewpoint, they have to agree with it.
They do not.
Hearing a point of view does not mean you have to share it or agree with it.
After you hear someone's feedback, you can take the added step of saying something like:
“I appreciate your perspective. Thanks for sharing it, but, I am going to head in a different direction, and I wanted you to hear my decision from me first.”
This approach conveys appreciation and honors the reality that decisions don't always go your way in an organization.
By consulting others in your decision-making process, you will build trust in your relationships.
If your relationships suffer from a lack of trust, perhaps this is an easy area to start to make changes. What do you lose if you start to include others in the process? What do you gain if you do?
The benefits likely outweigh the costs.
Meaningful Quotes Social Media Series
Quotes are often a dime a dozen on the internet and can be more noise than signal. My intent with the Meaningful Quotes Social Media Series is to curate — meaningful — quotes and pass them along.
About The Nexus Initiative
The Nexus Initiative is a boutique Executive Coaching and Advisory firm based on real-world operating experience. If you know someone looking for a trusted confidant with real-world operating experience to be their coach, please refer them to my website to setup a discovery call.
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