Most people have an "inauthenticity detector" in others, whether conscious or subconscious.
You can often just “sense it” with your Spidey senses.
Lack of Authenticity is felt whether you are aware of it or not.
The lack of authenticity puts you “on guard” because of the uncertainty it creates. You might experience thoughts such as:
I don’t quite know how they feel about it.
I’m not sure what to make of this person.
I can’t share what I truly think because I’m not sure what they would say if I did.
Or, just a general unease, or an "on-guarded-ness."
Etc.
The net effect is that the depth of the relationship stalls because “going deeper” doesn’t feel right.
Intentional or not, a dynamic of “I’m not going to share more because they aren’t sharing more” gets created.
The Absence of Authenticity May Not Be Intentional
Incidentally, the reason a person is inauthentic may not be nefarious. They could someone who doesn't really know themselves. Perhaps, they have not developed a strong sense of self or who have low(er) self-awareness. All learnable skills, by the way.
The beauty of authenticity is that you know what you are getting with the other person. They’ve shared a true representation of who they are, or at least you know they are willing to share if asked.
The WYSIWYG acronym is appropriate—What You See Is What You Get…. Its presence people makes you exhale and let your guard down.
The older I get, the more I am in awe of authenticity's connective power. It truly is a superpower.
Applied Emotional Intelligence - Social Media Series
Applied Emotional Intelligence is a Social Media Series of The Nexus Initiative. Its focus is the application of Emotional Intelligence techniques in or out of the workplace. At The Nexus Initiative, we are all about the real-world application of skills, and we created this series in support of that principle.
About The Nexus Initiative
The Nexus Initiative is a boutique executive coaching firm whose mission is to develop emotionally intelligent and mentally agile leaders and teams. Our approach leverages real-world operating experience, multi-disciplinary thinking, industry-leading certifications, and a Wharton MBA.