Emotional Bullshit
Part I: Description
Emotional Bullshit (EB): The Relationship Poison You Need to Recognize
Psychologist Carl Alasko exposed the destructive power of "emotional bullshit" (EB) in his book. He outlines how this manipulative and toxic behavior is all about dodging responsibility and destroying trust.
What Exactly IS Emotional Bullshit?
A Pattern, Not Just a Bad Mood: EB is a habitual way of twisting communication to serve oneself, even at the expense of others.
The Toxic Trio at Its Core:
Denial: Refusal to see how your own actions play a role in any issue.
Delusion: Creating elaborate excuses and justifications instead of owning up to mistakes.
Blame: It's ALWAYS someone else's fault, making genuine solutions impossible.
Where Emotional Bullshit Shows Up
Relationships: Look out for gaslighting, playing the victim, and constant blame-shifting. EB destroys intimacy.
Workplaces: Chronic bullies, coworkers who sabotage others...EB creates toxic environments.
The Public Sphere: Politicians and those seeking power often weaponize EB through fear, lies, and denial of reality.
Why Identifying Emotional Bullshit Matters
Stop Being a Target: Understanding EB protects you from getting played or manipulated.
Don't Get Sucked In: EB thrives on codependency and power struggles. Knowing the signs empowers you to walk away.
The Tricky Part: Those who rely on EB rarely want to change. Setting clear boundaries may be your best option.
Improve Your Communication Overall: Recognizing EB fosters healthier interactions focused on honesty and true collaboration.
Part II: Common Questions
1. How can I tell if emotional bullshit is happening to me?
Answer: Look for patterns, not isolated incidents. EB is a habitual way of operating. Here are some red flags:
Never Their Fault: Everything is blamed on you, external circumstances, or sheer bad luck. They take zero responsibility.
Circular Conversations: Trying to resolve issues goes nowhere. You keep hitting the denial, delusion, and blame cycle.
Exhaustion and Confusion: Interactions with this person leave you drained, doubting yourself, and feeling like the 'crazy' one.
2. Is emotional bullshit the same as narcissism or other personality disorders?
Answer: While there can be significant overlap, they're not synonymous. Here's the distinction:
EB Is a Behavior Pattern: It can be present in people without full-blown personality disorders.
Personality Disorders are Broader: They involve deep-seated patterns beyond emotional manipulation.
Understanding Intent: EB can be driven by insecurity or the need for control. Personality disorders often have more calculated and malicious motivations.
3. What can I do if someone I care about engages in emotional bullshit?
Answer: Unfortunately, it's incredibly difficult to change someone who relies on EB. Here are some approaches:
Compassionate Boundaries: Protect yourself. You can care about someone without tolerating toxic behavior.
Focus on Yourself: Don't get pulled into arguments designed to throw you off balance. State your truth and disengage.
Seek Support: Dealing with EB is emotionally draining. Therapy can help you build resilience and process the impact .
Know When to Walk Away Sometimes, for your own well-being, ending the relationship is the only healthy choice.
Part III: Additional Resources
Books about Emotional Bullshit
"Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That's Threatening to Destroy Your Relationships—and How to Stop It" by Carl Alasko: The book that introduced the term! Alasko offers a comprehensive breakdown of EB, its destructive impact, and strategies for dealing with it.
"Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men" by Lundy Bancroft: While focused on abusive relationships, this book offers valuable insights into the mindset of those who chronically engage in denial, blame, and distortion – all core elements of EB.
"Hold Me Tight" by Sue Johnson: Focusing on couples' dynamics, this book sheds light on how emotional blame cycles can play out in romantic relationships, offering a path towards healthier communication.
Websites and Blogs about Emotional Bullshit
Carl Alasko's Website: The author of "Emotional Bullshit" likely offers further articles or resources on the topic. Search for his website for deeper insights.
Psychology Today: Their articles and therapist directory offer resources on healthy communication and manipulative behaviors. Search for terms like "emotional manipulation" and "gaslighting" which often overlap with EB.
Out of the FOG: This website, originally dedicated to helping those dealing with personality disorders, offers valuable content on recognizing and disengaging from manipulative patterns, including EB.
Other Resources about Emotional Bullshit
Reputable Podcasts on Relationships and Psychology: Search for shows that discuss manipulation, unhealthy communication, and power dynamics. These will likely touch on themes related to EB.
Support Groups: Online forums dedicated to surviving toxic relationships (even if not explicitly labeled "emotional bullshit") can provide support and a sense of community.
Webinars or Online Courses: Search platforms like Udemy or Coursera for courses about setting boundaries, effective communication, or recognizing emotional abuse, which often intersect with EB.
Therapists Specializing in Difficult Relationships: A therapist can provide personalized guidance on recognizing EB, developing healthier coping mechanisms, and, when needed, setting boundaries to protect your well-being.
Part IV: Disclaimer
These results were highly selected, curated, and edited by The Nexus Inititiative. To make this amount of complimentary content available at a cost-effective level for our site visitors and clients, we have to rely on, and use, resources like Google Gemini and other similar services.